SKINLESS FEELING – The Apartment
When I think about the Apartment, I notice that this feeling still prevails. Skinless feeling or the
feeling you get when you eat ice cream with your sensitive teeth. But the teeth are your whole
body and your psyche. But what exactly has brought this feeling up? Probably the emptiness
and those walls. Pieces of plaster that had been removed. As well as the general vibe of
“promising but not delivering”. It was a skinless apartment. It didn’t perform anything, but instead
it made me and others perform. It triggered the feeling of absence and vacuum. Such things are
always painful.
(FUL)FILLED FEELING – Shashlyk Bar
I still have this feeling, when I think back towards the shashlyk bar. My associations are the
following: 1. sound; 2. the smell of smoke; 3. dimness. The memory of this place is similar to
memories of parties with booze and drugs that last for several days. The place had the feeling of
day 2, when you are not so exhausted yet, but you haven’t slept, your eyes can’t stand the light
and you have a frozen feeling in your bones, so the best is to lay on a couch, smoke and drink
bottles of red wine. Intellectually I see the shashlyk bar as a temple for existential thoughts, but the animal inside of me enjoys its decadent underside. Which doesn't exclude that it is a temple. A cock with wings symbolizes the coexistence of spirit and flesh.
UNEASY SENSE OF DUTY – The Book, the map in the Apartment
This feeling can be refreshing and empowering, but, depending on your position (fulfillment,
skinless), it can also trigger confusion, guilt, headache and skinless feeling. So, if your
position is Shashlyk Bar, the Book can push you into the Apartment. And if you are in the
Apartment, the Book can bring you to reconciliation. Care will keep causing discomfort until you leave your cement bags behind the door and see things as they are.
